My mom told me to “find a man who respects you like a sea captain respects the sea.” A man who looks at you with awe and reverence but knows you are a force of nature. I like that.
why get thinner when you can get more dinner
do you ever start writing a text post and halfway through you’re just like “nah”
the only bitches from the early 2000s that are still relevant and on top of their game.
this commercial was a sign
- YEAH GIRL I’MMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND
- put them in a closet for you cause it’s polite
- YEAH BABY THAT’S RIGHT IMMA PICK YOU UP AND
- carry you to your bed cause baby I know you tired
- OH GIRL IMA SLAP DAT
- broom out of your hand because you’ve had a long day at work, and i can do it myself.
- WAIT TILL YOU SEE MA
- collection of politely worded love letters.
when i was 12 i made a deal with my dad that if i didn’t date until i was 16 he’d owe me $100 AND I FUCKING REMEMBERED THE OTHER DAY AND MY DAD SAID IT WAS "RIDICULOUS ENOUGH TO BE TRUE" HE’S ACTUALLY GONNA GIVE ME $100
so my dad come home today and was like “katie i did it i got your money”
he gave me 100 one dollar bills
my dad gave me 100 one dollar bills
i can pretend to be a super star
i am a queen
i made it rain on my mom
mom: clean your room
mom: dang tho